Connections & Compassion

Vulnerability attracts honesty, honesty attracts soul connections.”

November 3, 2016

I am officially a third of the way done with radiation.

So far, all is going well with no major side effects. I’m tired, and my body is still trying to eliminate all the toxins left over from chemo, but I continue to push through, some days probably too much. Second round of x-rays show the radiation rays are still going where they’re supposed to be; I’m slowly developing a nice tan from those rays, and I smell daily of fresh aloe with a trace of Aquaphor.

I have to say, despite the fun the techs and I have each morning joking around and introducing each other to new music, I won’t miss this part of the cancer journey. Even though radiation is daily, versus the weekly chemo treatments, the amount of time spent at treatment each day doesn’t allow for the same connections with people. The schedules at radiation are tight, only allowing for a quick “hi” and “bye” versus spending a three-hour block in the big brown chairs where you had time to talk, to connect and to bond with others in a way only others going through the same thing can connect. But even still, amazing things are happening around me.

It has been through this journey that I have truly begun to understand and appreciate the value and importance of true and pure connections with others. Those around you who treat you with true compassion and love; who care so deeply that when they ask you how you are, they truly want to know the answer. I have been gifted with so many compassionate people in my life, so many true and loving people who have been by my side throughout the last seven months. But what I have loved about this adventure are the connections I have made with others because of the mere fact that we now share something that will change us forever. We are part of a club now, an institution in which you have to hear the words “you have cancer” in order to be accepted. It’s something that is dreaded and never wished upon anyone, but once you’re on the inside you begin accepting things you never knew you even had the ability to accept. You begin to live with a greater appreciation for life; you catch yourself taking deeper breathes just to feel more alive, you see images with clarity and depth, images in your life BC (before cancer) that you would ignore. And most importantly, you are now part of this brand new experience that opens you up to people in this world that you may have never given a second glimpse, nothing more than a half a smile as you passed each other or held a door open as they rushed past you.

We go our whole lives sometimes passing by people we never get to know because we are too busy to take the time to stop and get to know them. We’re programmed to be on a mission; a daily routine that leaves the majority of us wishing time would slow down because we don’t have enough minutes in the day to do all we have to get done. We could be walking past someone who would someday be our best friend, our soul mate; someone who you someday may inspire and motivate, or who will inspire and motivate you. But more times than not, it’s a missed opportunity.

Today at the gym, I made an unexpected connection with someone I have seen many times but have never had a reason to say hi, to introduce myself. As I was in the middle of my workout, I was approached by this person who wanted to tell me that she had noticed me in the gym and expressed her joy with my commitment to working out. After a brief interaction, she then informed me she is a two time breast cancer survivor. At that very moment, a connection was made that sparked emotions I had not felt since the last time I met a woman at church on the same journey as myself. Just as in that moment, this moment quickly turned us from strangers to confidants. We didn’t have to say anything else to each other. We embraced, right there in the middle of the gym floor, and we both shed those few tears we so often do before wiping them away and going back to standing tall. In those brief moments, I made a genuine and pure connection with someone who, without the diagnosis of cancer, I would not have otherwise spoken to. We would have continued to pass each other and continue to be strangers. It would have been a missed opportunity to make a real, genuine and kind connection with another kind soul.

We miss so many opportunities in our short lives to better ourselves. Whether it’s putting off a goal until you are ready to make a commitment, a family vacation until you have extra money, or a dinner with a friend until you have extra time, we miss out on what could be the most important changes in our lives on almost a daily basis. Instead of programming ourselves to live within the means of our daily schedules, step outside of that box and wait and see the amazing changes that can come from it.

A simple introduction. A smile. A “I noticed you” changed my entire day yesterday. It was unexpected and enriching at the same time. It reminded me that others are going through hard times, even though they may look perfectly fine on the outside. We never really know someone if we aren’t truly and wholly invested and are able to show compassion.

Take time to stop and smell the roses, drink your coffee slowly, breathe in the fresh air, be ok with running a few minutes late if it means spending those few minutes enjoying something you love. Learn to live life with the same excitement a child has when they catch a ladybug and laughs in excitement as it crawls over their hands.

Appreciate the compassion you have for others, and the compassion you have received in return. Smile at a stranger, push yourself to make connections you otherwise would allow to pass by.

Don’t wait your entire life to make that introduction, a chance to change your life for the better, a change that too easily could have slipped by.

As I’ve said in past writings, we only get this one life. Enjoy it while it’s here.

❤️

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